I am so excited! This is the first post in my first-ever blog-book study. From now until the end of February, we will be studying Made to Crave by Lysa TerKeurst, President of Proverbs 31 Ministries. Every Friday during our study, a different participant in the study will be featured as a guest writer, highlighting the chapters we studied during the week.
This week, we read the Introduction-Chapter 2 and my friend Jenny Calles is our featured guest-blogger.
Jenny was one of my first friends when I moved to Greenville three years ago and she has been a precious soul sister to me. Hers was the couch I slept on when my heart was broken that same fall
by that jackass. She has one of the most beautiful hearts one could have the privilege of knowing. Also? She is stinking hilarious without even meaning to be. You’ll love her.
* * * * * * * * * *
I’ve had a weight problem for as long as I can remember. In fact, I think I was born a size 14 and just went up from there. Ha! Actually, as a young child I was average size (not thin, not fat) and I even remember being told by one of my grandparents when I was young that I “didn’t eat enough to keep a cat alive.” Yet now as I look at my reflection in the mirror at the overweight person looking back at me, I get disgusted at myself for not having the will to fix it.
And believe me, I’ve tried to fix it. I think I’ve been on every diet imaginable, taken diet pills, and even tried starving myself once which incidentally only lasted about twelve hours at which point I recovered by going to McDonald’s for a Big Mac value meal. Gah. And the problem with all these diets and pills and plans is that the root of my eating has nothing to do with not feeling full. I don’t eat because I’m nervous or upset…well, maybe I do…but that’s not really the bottom line. See, I eat because…well, I like food. I know full well how to lose weight – I’ve done it enough times – but apparently I am an expert at how to gain all of the weight back.
So when I opened Lysa’s book Made to Crave, I was elated to read this on the first page:
It’s not the “how to” I’m missing. It’s the “want to”…
Finally!!! A book about weight loss that addresses MY problem! So maybe she will tell me the magic trick to losing weight because I know “how,” I just don’t want to have to do the “how.” The “how” is hard and quite frankly seems totally unfair that some women can just eat whatever they want and not gain a pound while I probably am gaining weight right this second by breathing in air.
So I read on, but was a bit surprised by what I found:
We were made to crave – long for, want greatly, desire eagerly, and beg for – God. Only God. But Satan wants to do everything possible to replace our craving for God with something else.
Whoa. Now that made me stop and think. Is that what’s going on here? Have I allowed food to hold a place in my life that belongs to God? That can’t be possible. I mean it’s not like I haven’t spent hours and hours in prayer to God about this. It’s not like God and I haven’t gone nine rounds about my inability to lose weight. It’s not like I haven’t tried and tried to give this thing to Him over and over only to be defeated yet again. And then reading toward the end of the second chapter where Lysa talks about using cravings as a prompt to pray, I almost took this book and flung it but then I read her words from one of her numerous prayers:
…I’m going to have a handful of almonds and brick by brick…prayer by prayer…lay a path for victory.
And suddenly I realized that in all my prayers, I’ve spent more time agonizing over what I can’t have, mad at God for not changing this ugly thing in me, frustrated that I can’t be like Miss So-and-So Skinnybritches. I most certainly have not been laying a path for victory. I’ve mostly just been wallowing in defeat. I’ve been obsessed by what I can’t have, can’t do, and can’t be rather than overjoyed by what I can have, what He can do, and who I am in Him. Wow. I’m feeling a bit giddy to think that a light bulb has finally come on for me and I can’t wait to continue reading.
Oh, Lord that You would be my only obsession, the one thing I crave.
How about you? Have you been laying a path for victory?
Homework: Read Chapters 3-5 next week.