i went to bed on thursday and woke up on friday knowing that i needed to check in with the gypsy mama.
only i didn’t. couldn’t. not that day.
and so i went by today and realized why it was necessary for me to pay her, and the rest of the neighborhood, a visit.
my accidental blog hiatus began exactly a month from friday. i didn’t mean to do it. the following week i was teaching all day and then subbing at night and i knew then i wouldn’t have time to write, figuring it would only be for the week.
and then there was a moment in church when the lord made clear i was to concentrate my focus on a few particular areas, knowing it would be temporary, but realizing it would mean i wouldn’t be writing for a while longer.
but then comes the moment, or moments, when i’ve discovered my emptiness…not the depression-kind of empty…but a hollowness when god once again strips away parts of me that i didn’t realize i had been holding onto, clinging to…the kind of empty that hurts but you know it’s only in the best ways, the right ways. god and i needed space for this, it seems, in a way that couldn’t be worked out for you to see or read but for me to come back later and point to him.
and i have no real words but i will try to find them in coming days to explain my heart in ways that are true and real and i will honor myself and bring glory to god for this private leg of the road, but for now i’m glad to find myself broken again…
poured out, so he can fill my cup
til again it overflows.
it feels good and right to write again. i needed help aligning my fingers and my heart and my words before i begin again, so i linked up on a sunday afternoon for friday’s five-minutes (given i spent a month not writing anything at all, i’m just glad i’m here.) y’all run by and meet other bloggers, where hearts meet words and friends are found. even on a monday.