an empty cup.

i went to bed on thursday and woke up on friday knowing that i needed to check in with the gypsy mama.

only i didn’t. couldn’t. not that day.

and so i went by today and realized why it was necessary for me to pay her, and the rest of the neighborhood, a visit.

because of the empty.

my accidental blog hiatus began exactly a month from fridayi didn’t mean to do it. the following week i was teaching all day and then subbing at night and i knew then i wouldn’t have time to write, figuring it would only be for the week.

and then there was a moment in church when the lord made clear i was to concentrate my focus on a few particular areas, knowing it would be temporary, but realizing it would mean i wouldn’t be writing for a while longer.

but then comes the moment, or moments, when i’ve discovered my emptiness…not the depression-kind of empty…but a hollowness when god once again strips away parts of me that i didn’t realize i had been holding onto, clinging to…the kind of empty that hurts but you know it’s only in the best ways, the right ways. god and i needed space for this, it seems, in a way that couldn’t be worked out for you to see or read but for me to come back later and point to him.

and i have no real words but i will try to find them in coming days to explain my heart in ways that are true and real and i will honor myself and bring glory to god for this private leg of the road, but for now i’m glad to find myself broken again…

and empty…

poured out, so he can fill my cup

til again it overflows.

it feels good and right to write again. i needed help aligning my fingers and my heart and my words before i begin again, so i linked up on a sunday afternoon for friday’s five-minutes (given i spent a month not writing anything at all, i’m just glad i’m here.) y’all run by and meet other bloggers, where hearts meet words and friends are found. even on a monday.

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21 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Tay
    Mar 12, 2012 @ 01:28:38

    Hey, I was so happy when I saw that you had posted! I am so glad you’re back! I’ve been thinking about you a lot during this past month! Hope you are doing grrrreat! :)

    • mary kathryn tyson
      Mar 12, 2012 @ 06:30:41

      you are so sweet. i’ve definitely missed you guys! it’s been necessary for me to take a break i didn’t know i needed, but hopefully i’ll be back more frequently now! :) love you, tay-tay. xo

  2. Sharon O
    Mar 12, 2012 @ 01:31:21

    Missed you… glad you are back?

    • mary kathryn tyson
      Mar 12, 2012 @ 06:33:03

      i hope so, sharon! time is still an issue, but i did take care of one of the big things i had to finish. probably not back every day yet, but at least a few times a week. i’ve missed you, friend. xo

  3. HopeUnbroken
    Mar 12, 2012 @ 05:11:14

    love this. and love the kind of empty this past month has been. can’t wait to hear all about it.
    steph

  4. Carmen
    Mar 12, 2012 @ 07:46:06

    Glad to hear from you again, blog friend. Your love for the Lord and your trust in his ability “not to harm you” is so admirable. Someday maybe I will be there.

  5. Steph
    Mar 12, 2012 @ 08:05:54

    Hello! Welcome back!

    XO
    Steph

  6. HopefulLeigh
    Mar 12, 2012 @ 09:10:46

    Honoring where you’re at and bringing glory to God- that is precisely what you’ve been doing and what I know you will continue to do. Love you, friend!

  7. Sarah Koci Scheilz
    Mar 12, 2012 @ 11:36:14

    Mary Kathryn, friend, glad you are back. Praying for you whether you’re here on the blog or doing what you need to be doing elsewhere. Grateful for YOU, no matter where God needs you most :)

  8. Melissa
    Mar 12, 2012 @ 11:44:33

    Life happens. The phrases, “I’ll see you next time.” or ” I’ll see you when I see you.” have become very common in my life. I don’t see people on a consistent basis like I used to. No complaints just a part of this season of life.

    It is good to “hear” your voice again friend.

  9. dougy
    Mar 12, 2012 @ 12:37:34

    Hey welcome back from your hiatus. Sorry I hadn’t been around to notice. I was kinda incognito on my blog and the blogging community for a while, very sporadic at writing for the Justice Journey. For lent my discipline is too write more. To this end I have created a new blog, based on who I am, writing on politics, faith, and whatnot. I’m incorporating the Justice Journey as a subsection. The new blog was long overdue and my first week included writing and posting every day. Now it’s finding the appropriate routine to sustain it.

    • mary kathryn tyson
      Mar 13, 2012 @ 21:43:13

      dougy, that’s awesome! i think that’s perfect for you! can’t wait to read all about it! and you never have to apologize to me for ‘not noticing’ if i’m here or not. really. i’m all over the map these days as far as the blogosphere is concerned. :)

  10. Miranda
    Mar 14, 2012 @ 11:00:45

    I’ve come to the realization that I post something when I feel it, I don’t post “just because”. So some weeks it’s 1 post and others it’s 4 — it varies. Church always convicts me too :).

  11. Tay
    Mar 30, 2012 @ 21:26:35

    MK!!!! I saw your big news on Twitter! I am shocked and SERIOUSLY FREAKING OUT!! Congratulations girl!!! I am so happy for you! Details please?! <3

  12. Tay
    Apr 16, 2012 @ 01:34:36

    Hey MK! Just wanted to say that I am thinking about you lots! I know you’re keeping busy, but I can’t wait for the story about your cowboy! I also have some exciting news of my own to share! God is so good!

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