new beginnings.

hey my friends,

i’ve missed you.

it’s been too long. tell me how you’ve been, i want to know.

i wish we could sit down together and exchange stories about these last few months. i’d love to hear about what god’s been teaching you and tell you what i’ve been learning, too. there’s so much for us to talk about, i know.

so much. 

i’ve wanted to come by and talk to you a few times, but then i just didn’t.

or couldn’t.

the truth is, i just haven’t been free to write over here, to tell you my stories.

sometimes life just happens in a way that can’t be explained in words on paper.

or on blogs.

sometimes life-stuff requires a full pot and a comfy couch and a box of kleenex between friends. so we can look in each others’ faces and speak the language only hearts speak that can’t be translated through a keyboard on a screen.

that’s the kind of life i’ve had in the last few months while you haven’t heard from me.

stuff of real life. stuff that can only happen in real life.

and so it makes my heart sad to tell you that i don’t know when you’ll hear from me again after today. my life is changing. it’s turning in such a different direction than one i’ve projected here. i’m changing. i’ve changed. god is changing me on a deep soul-level and i just have to go with it now.

i’m being set free in ways i’ve been in bondage for so long that i haven’t even recognized as bondage.

i’m dying a little bit more each day, in all the right ways.

using my roar has taken on an entirely different meaning than what i thought it meant at the beginning of the year. i know now, though, that god set it up that way and i’m sure there’s more to that than i even know right now.

i joined my church and have even started singing there again which, you all know, are both huge milestones for me.

also, i got engaged. for years i’ve said i was just “waiting for my cowboy” and phillip just showed up one day. in a wheelchair. i’ve learned ours is one of those stories that can only be shared in person. i wasn’t holding out on you, by the way. one night i was the girl in the green dress and ten days later i became a fiance. i didn’t even have time to tell anyone i was dating someone! he’s awesome. i love god and want more of him because of phillip. i can’t believe god loves me so much that he would partner me with such a precious man and amazing jesus-warrior.

who is also very much a rugged and sexy and confident cowboy.

ye-ow-zas.

some things can only be learned relationally. and some things can only be un-learned relationally. through friendship, definitely. and then some parts of life and heart and mind are meant to only be learned through that one relationship you’re only going to have with that one person for the rest of your life. i obviously didn’t know that until now because i hadn’t experienced it until now.

so, i don’t know entirely what god is doing, but i know that it’s all good. hard, but good. necessary, but good.

because god is always and only good

i need to hide myself in jesus now. it’s one of those seasons when i’m doing a lot less talking and a whole lot more listening and journaling. one day i’ll be free to share these stories with you, too. in the meantime, i can no longer rest on the laurels of my past to get me through these next days.  what i once took for happiness and contentment, and what i’ve previously understood as peace, is no longer enough. i have to daily find myself in jesus now in order to be fit for this next leg of the race set before me.

and it’s time to put this baby to bed now.

new folks continue to stop by and read parts of their story here, so i won’t move out of the neighborhood as long as god continues to use this address. the thing is, the stories i’ve told here…the person of those storiesis just not who i am anymore. god’s writing a new story of my life a story of my new life now, one that i didn’t expect he’d tell through me at all. kinda like a part two. or maybe part three.

so i’m going to let him.

i love y’all very much. the friendships forged in these quiet/loud pages over the last year-and-a-half have meant the world to me and have sustained me on the darkest of my days. we have laughed a whole lot together, too.

i hope you’ll continue to email me and leave comments here and tell me about your lives. i care deeply for you and would be moved to tears if you and i could maintain the friendships i didn’t expect to begin through these pages.

what an honor to be called your friend. for this, i’m thankful to the god of the blogosphere. i do not take lightly this responsibility and privilege. i will continue to pray for you as god brings you to mind, and would count it such a joy to know more specifically how i could go to god on your behalf.

thank you for being a part of my life and allowing me to be a part of yours. only heaven knows what has been set into motion in my life for eternity through you.

love you.

xo

47 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. onegirl4god
    Apr 20, 2012 @ 11:36:48

    Wow!
    And
    Yay!
    And
    *sniff, sniff*
    And
    *hug*
    And

    • mary kathryn tyson
      Apr 20, 2012 @ 11:38:45

      aw, sugar-britches, i’m not going anywhere. we’ll always have the fb. and email. and all the love between us that can only be held between nc and delaware. :)

      i love you, schnookums.

      xo

  2. veronicamonique (@veronicaibarra)
    Apr 20, 2012 @ 11:38:24

    Change is an essential part of growth and maturation. You are so right that there are some things that can only be experienced and expressed in person. Writing is an means of expression, an outlet, but it is not living. Share what you can when you can anyway you chose. I love what you have done here, but it is far more important to live in the moments of your life, otherwise there is nothing worth sharing. You are loved and thought well of regardless.

    • mary kathryn tyson
      Apr 20, 2012 @ 11:40:18

      what she said.
      :)

      i love you, roni. i’ll be back eventually. but i needed to close the door on what’s already been said and done, to be free to move forward into newness of life.

      thank you for all your love, support and encouragement. i am so, so thankful to have reconnected with you after so many years.

      love you, my very good friend.

      xo

  3. Sharon O
    Apr 20, 2012 @ 11:44:18

    I have missed your writing and stories BUT perhaps God has a ‘book’ ahead of you. That would be a powerful story for others to read about your ‘past’ and how it moved you to a new future. So is your ‘guy’ in a wheelchair long term?
    I am very happy for you. You deserve it so much. God be with you.

    • mary kathryn tyson
      Apr 20, 2012 @ 11:55:36

      oh, man. i know there is one in me at some point, sharon. perhaps that will be something he wants me to turn my attention toward. thank you so much for that.

      upon his accident, phillip was pronounced dead. and then he resurrected. and then he was told he’d never walk again. and now he is, slowly but surely.

      god is healing him so, no, he is not in a wheelchair long-term. :) there’s a link to his facebook page where he posts videos of his progress and you can read his story. you’ll be encouraged by watching/reading when you have the time. :)

      xo

  4. hopefulleigh
    Apr 20, 2012 @ 11:48:48

    Wow! I didn’t see this coming. Glad that this space brought us together. All the best to you, friend!

  5. richelleygirl
    Apr 20, 2012 @ 12:06:56

    I’m so very happy for you! I completely understand the whole seasons changing as God changes things in your life. I am so ecstatic you found such an awesome man of God…or God found him for you….I wish you both God’s very best on this new part of your journey!

  6. Mel~issa
    Apr 20, 2012 @ 12:10:35

    So excited for the places God is taking you! Will miss this space, but so grateful for the time spent here.

  7. angeladesouza
    Apr 20, 2012 @ 12:23:07

    Congratulations! I am so excited for you :) xxx

  8. HopeUnbroken
    Apr 20, 2012 @ 12:53:59

    my jaw dropped and i had to look twice when i saw that you had posted. just to make sure that you really. had. posted :-)
    what a beautiful “see ya down the road.” never good-bye.
    of course you’ll be back, and of course you had to lay that old self to rest. . . for you’ll never be the same! we never are when the two become one. and it takes time, girlfriend, to figure out who that new one is. not that you’ve lost the old self (except the parts you want to lose, lol!), but there is a newness, a beautiful new something or other that happens and emerges. we all know it on this side. and i can hardly. wait. to see how it changes you and this space. for i absolutely, 100% know that you’ll have a lot to say about it :-) can hardly wait to hear more, in the right timing, about how God is molding and perfecting and beautifying you.
    although i have to add that by the looks of the picture with you and your man, the two of you can’t be any more beautiful together. nice catch!
    blessings to you both as you continue your journey. i’ll keep up through twitter, hopefully? praying for you as you discover life together and what God has promised to work through you as a couple.
    much love. and of course, i’ve probably gone on too long and said way too much by now :-) isn’t it good that some things never change???
    steph

    • mary kathryn tyson
      Apr 20, 2012 @ 12:56:49

      Steph! Thanks! You said it all perfectly…things I know but can’t understand fully at this point, so I know I can’t explain well on this side…thank you for saying it so well from where you stand.

      Am not going far, or anywhere…just won’t be here. Sadly. But goodly. :)

      Do stay in touch. You’ll still see me around.

      Love you, sweet friend.

      xo
      Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

  9. Amy
    Apr 20, 2012 @ 12:58:12

    Coffee’s brewin’, tissue is stocked, arms open with a welcoming hug…come by any time…seriously…would love to see you and celebrate with you!

  10. kmacdoula
    Apr 20, 2012 @ 13:05:49

    MK….I am so happy for you and Phillip..and can’t wait to see what God has in store for you both going forward… Love ya, Kelly

    • mary kathryn tyson
      Apr 20, 2012 @ 13:07:40

      Thank you so much, Kelly!

      P.S. I didn’t know this weekend is “All in” til Scott Murphy told me the other day. How do I get in on the action? Is there an email I need to sign up for?

  11. Melissa McGaha Rorabaugh
    Apr 20, 2012 @ 13:41:52

    Praying many continued blessings on you!

  12. carrie
    Apr 20, 2012 @ 13:43:33

    so beautifully written, as always! so much love to you…you deserve every drop of it!

  13. covered in His dust
    Apr 20, 2012 @ 13:49:31

    I think that is about the most beautiful, most raw thing you’ve ever written. I can’t wait to watch God’s new story unfold in your new life. I love you so much.

    • mary kathryn tyson
      Apr 20, 2012 @ 13:51:53

      Oh…aw…thank you…that actually means…more than I can say. P’s really been challenging me in that way…not with my writing, just…in life. Thought I was pretty well “just me” until he lovingly started seeing things I couldn’t. So…thank you. That means the world to me to hear it. xo

  14. Katy (@bahava)
    Apr 20, 2012 @ 14:19:37

    so much i could say that would be better said sitting across from each other so i’ll just leave it at this: love you and love the beautiful story god is writing away in you and through you. <3

  15. milziopper
    Apr 20, 2012 @ 14:23:13

    Mary Kathryn,
    I am SO happy for you! You are incredible, too incredible not to share it with the perfect man! :) I love to see what God is doing in you, and what he reveals through mundane and the not so mundane experiences. I hope that you come to Birmingham soon, or maybe Kim and I will just have to come to you! I miss your beautiful face and even more beautiful (which is near impossible) heart.
    Lots of love, <3 Millie

    • mary kathryn tyson
      Apr 20, 2012 @ 14:27:15

      MILLLZZZ! i miss you guys very much! i can’t believe it’s been a year! my heart is still with all of you, that’s for sure. i love watching you and brock virtually. :) yes, you and kim definitely need to come see me or hopefully i can make it to the beach with y’all. love you, love you, love you. and thank you for your kind words, sweet friend. xo

  16. Cindy Finley
    Apr 20, 2012 @ 16:03:46

    Mary Kathryn! I’m so excited for you and exulting in the Lord’s Isaiah 61 work in your life. :) :) :) I still would love to connect sometime! Much love to you!

  17. Chantelle
    Apr 20, 2012 @ 20:27:37

    I’ve missed you, friend <3 So glad you dropped back by, even if you aren't staying :) I'll try to keep up on fb. I am so happy for you. I was pleasantly surprised by your engagement announcement recently, but overflowing with joy for you. Not that you *need* my blessings and wishes, since God is the Man in charge; but best wishes in your future for many blessings to fill your life with Phillip. Peace, sister <3

    • mary kathryn tyson
      Apr 21, 2012 @ 11:57:55

      isn’t that funny how we do that? i do it, too – “i need to approve!” but…no…when it’s god, we don’t need man’s approval at all. (i know you aren’t saying that – it just made me think of how i’ve been in the past and how now i wish i had never said that to any of my friends because i get it now.) :)

      and, thank you. you are so precious, chantelle. love keeping up with you via the fb. i’ll have a new blog at some point, but it’s time to lay this one to rest now. :)

      love you, old friend.

      xo

  18. Tay
    Apr 20, 2012 @ 21:11:03

    Mary Kathryn! I’ve missed you! It’s so good to hear from you & I am beyond happy for you and your cowboy! If I’ve learned anything in the past few months, it’s been that God is so so good and so so faithful! I am so excited about what He is doing in my life and in yours! Although I am sad that you will no longer be blogging, I hope to stay in touch too! :)

    • Tay
      Apr 21, 2012 @ 01:14:09

      By the way, just sent you an email!

    • mary kathryn tyson
      Apr 21, 2012 @ 12:00:30

      tay-tay! you are the one person i was thinking about when i wrote this post. i will miss you most of all, tin man. but i did get your wonderful email and will respond in kind and am SO unbelievably excited about your life and all that it holds. i am so glad we get to keep in touch. love you, precious girl. xo

  19. Kristin Michelle
    Apr 21, 2012 @ 07:34:25

    MK,
    This is my favorite post yet! I love the idea of a new story being written. I can’t wait to read a new blog, magazine article series, or whatever new form of expression your story takes!

    • mary kathryn tyson
      Apr 21, 2012 @ 12:01:52

      aw, that is so nice, kristin. i’m looking forward to seeing how it all unfolds, too. :) really excited about the new direction god is taking me, including where i might be writing in the future. thank you so much. xo

  20. Sharon O
    Apr 22, 2012 @ 01:45:52

    you didn’t leave his facebook or email or whatever to read his ‘story’…
    does he have a blog?

  21. Kristine MouseMarie Webster
    Apr 24, 2012 @ 23:15:37

    but, but, but, i only just found you! :’( I completely understand what you mean about life becoming something you can’t share in words or in a blog or anything that is less than face-to-face. That is exactly what my life has been for a few months at the minimum. I am hurting right now. Hurting with a capital H. 54 weeks ago tomorrow my Daddy died in our family home surrounded by love and family. For some reason or other I had this idea that if I could get past “the one year mark” that it would get easier. The short response to that is, it hasn’t. I continue to grieve. I continue to try to keep hold of my faith even while I scream and rail and pound my fists on Him. I continue to try, barely try, to keep my eyes and heart open for love. In that order. It is bittersweet for me, even though I don’t really know you at all, that you found your cowboy. Beyond all of my own personal stuff, I wish you the best in everything God has for your future and I know, KNOW, he will use you immensely to continue to minister to those who are usually forgotten or looked over in The Body. May God continue to bless you with more than you can think of or hope for.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 547 other followers

%d bloggers like this: